::I feel like giving up::

I honestly don't know what the hell to do anymore.. I just want to give up and run away..
I am so tired of well just everything in general!
Here is what is going on now, and this part is just with Sonderful...
For the past 2 wks Sonderful would NOT let me look in his bookbag.. Well Sweetest day was arriving so I thought maybe they made/did something in school for it..So I kept asking him why can't Ilook in the bookbag, he said because there is a suprise in there for you for sweetest day.. ok fine, so Sweetest day was Sat. the 15th..I got my "present" it was a buckeye for good luck he says.. OK.... Cool thanks dude...
So yesterday comes, I asked him to go in his room with Sonshine to play while Dr.Phil is on( I dont like them watching it usually)
Dr. Phil comes on at 5 pm, Sonderful gets home at 4 pm(just in time to watch Ellen that is our special show we watch together)So while I was doing dishes and watching Dr. Phil,I wanted to look in Sonderfuls book bag to see what is for homework today, and I knew I forgot to clean his take home folder out on Friday... so I went to look for it, can't find the book bag anywhere
So I start the calling"Sonderful, where is your book bag?" "In here" he says.. Ok "bring it to me please so I can look through your folder" He brings me the book bag and says," I dont want you to look in it" UM I THINK NOT,Isaid "you tell me why you dont want me looking in your book bag" ALLS he kept saying was, "I dont know, I dont know"UM NO THAT DONT FLY WITH ME....LOL
So I was starting to get mad, If there is a surprise in there again, tell me that, kwim
so I told him that,then I said in a sterner voice once again"Why don't you want me to look in here, and you better be telling me the truth, is there a surprise in there for me or something" "Yes" was his reply...
HMM Ok I say" Well there is no holiday coming up anytime soon, so what is it for?" "Christmas he says"
Well for some reason I just didnt believe him, that feeling has never come over me before, I have never had any reason NOT to believe what he says..
So I gave him one more chance... I told him to put the "surprise" under the blanket on my bed and give me the bookbag NOW.. I was getting really pissed... then after I look in the book bag ,go back in my room and put it back in there... Well I just KNEW that there was no surprise but what the hell would this kid be hiding from me... So I saw him putting something under my blanket and he was taking for ever.. So once he was back in his room I looked, Yes I know I should not have incase there was a surprise for me, but I had an overwhelming feeling there wasn't a gift... I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!
There all crumpled up under my blanket was a note I wrote to his teacher 2months ago!!! OH I WAS SOOOO PISSED.... It was not even a bad note, I had a few concerns and questions was all, HE DID NOT GIVE IT TO HIM..OMG For the past two months,I have been ranting that this man does not repy to me (i emailed him and he did not reply, that I know Sonderful could not have intercepted..lol)I kept saying how it pissed me off that this teacher did not reply to the note I sent to him, for 2 months I would ask Sonderful, did the teacher write me back yet, "Nope not yet, I dont know why he wont" Stuff like that..
Now I find that he NEVER even gave it to his teacher..OMG FUMIN MOMMA NOW....
I said" why did youNOT give this to Mr.Coxen?" "I didnt want to get yelled at" was his reply.. WTF? You would rather lie to your Mom ....Then after digging MORE into the bag.. I find some assignments NOT COMPLETED, and I found a lil teeny slip of paper from his Science teacher saying he is doing really good this year but has a missing assignment.. WHAT??? That is the third homework assignment he did not do (that I know of) his interm report said he had 2 missing ones in another class a few weeks ago...one of the ones I found in his bag was one he turned in but no name, so I said well put your name on it and give it to the teacher..NEVER DID...
OMG I AM SO UPSET AND PISSED.. HE has never done this crap before.. He has always been a straight A kid...now in 4th grade he is going to start this crap out of the blue.. What the hell do I do.. so he spent the rest of lastnight(minus dinner time) in his room and was in bed by 7...
Today when he gets home, he is doing homework, NO ELLEN and going back in his room.. No stereo no ps2 no NOTHING.... I dont know what to do..so for the rest of the week he can spend it in his room.. Except for dinner time...I dont know what else to do, Now if that was me, I would have gotten my ass blistered really, well IF I wanted to spank him he is to big anyway, ya know.. But I dont spank my kids unless I have to..lol and 9 in my opinion is way to old for spankings..Well they can't play out in the yard because the landlord has it all tore up, and it is geting to cold to play outside anyway, so I will take away all the inside fun stuff.. No more fun books like his huge 900 page Harry Potter books either, the only books he is allowed to read for a bit are his school books.. I am really sad that I can't trust him at the moment, I have NEVER in my life felt Icouldn't and nowI do..makes me very hurt, and I told him so too... I also told him I am dissapointed in him which is something he has never heard me tell him before... =(
So that is what is up with him, and as for my Husband, well I just can't even get started or I will never stop.. I just dont know wht the hell is wrong or going onw ith these two but OMG I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
I am so seriously thinking of just leaving,but I have no where to take the boys and I.. Really I dont... so what do I do, I have to stay and be miserable!!