::My Biggest Challenge::
Following in the footsteps of the WONDERFUL ScrappingMomOf3
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My Biggest Challenge!
This is really a hard thing for me to do decide on because I have two VERY BIG challenges and I honestly can't choose between the two so I am posting about them both! I will post #1 now and later on I will post another they are both long and I dont want to write them both up right now..LOL
Challenge #1
This is something that I don't know if many know about me, and it is hard and embarrassing for me to talk about but That is what this is all about anyways right! And If ScrappingMom can talk about her story and share with us, then I can easily tell mine!
It was June 1997, and my WONDERFUL Sonderful was about 13 months old! And I was 20 going on 21 the following month.
His father and I had spent the evening by the fire having a few beers with my parent's who lived across the street from us, Sonderful was over at his meemaws(his fathers mom).
So eventually his father wanted to leave and I was not ready so a friend of ours and me and my sister all stayed there and hung out a bit more.. Well when I eventually got home a short while later all hell broke loose.. And ofcourse ONCE AGAIN he hit me, By that point what else was knew.. at that point in time we had been together almost 5 years by then, I went through all five years being mentally abused, then ofcourse eventually every couple weeks it would be physical. I had a good buzz on that night and he ofcourse was drunk, so he hit me, I hit him, He hit me, I threw a phone at his head, to bad I missed and hit the wall, He laughed at me, I tosses his tv on the floor..LMAO Then I left.. I walked passed his Moms about a million times(and it was a few streets away from us) but I just kept wondering back and forth in front of their house, I wanted to get my Sonderful and go back to my Moms, I knocked and knocked and knocked for atleast 2 hrs, crying buzzed and scared! He must have called and told them if I show up dont let me in. Because NO ONE ever answered!
So finally knowing that since his family had my boy I couldn't fight at that moment, I would not get him back, so I had to give in and forgive him so that he would not leave and take him!
So I went back to our apt.... I was sitting outside in the back of our apts, crying and a friend that lived upstairs heard me and called me up from the window. We sat and talked for a bit and I told her what had happened. She wanted to call the cops but I asked her not to and just wanted it to be over so I could go to sleep, I was gonna go in and just deal with what was coming and head to bed and it would be over with. And see my boy in the morning.. Well she called them after I left.. Well she didn't havea phone but she got on her cb and had a friend call them.
So when I went home, he was all nicey nicey like I knew he would be and we were starting to make up.. Well I was acting and I am sure he was too....but just so he has another day to mentally and sometimes physically abuse me he would pretend to love me so I would forgive him and just so I could never lose my boy I would act like I loved him too, and deep down I did, all abused woman do!
Welp here come the cops knocking on the door...They wanted to arrest him! Ofcourse the battered girlfriend I am ,that just *loves him so much* no matter how much he hurts me, had to open her mouth... I kept saying how I hit him to so if he was getting arrested I have to be too.. STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE BY FAR...SADDEST TOO!
The cops keep telling me to shut the hell up and go inside and I didn't and well I got arrested!
*Just so you know this is killing me to write this out but I feel good about getting it out*
Anyhoo, yep arrested, first time ever! I am not saying I was a saint teen or anything I was just smart enough NOT to get caught and really I didn't do stupid shit, I hung with hillbillys who played softball and drank beer! They rocked!! And at that time in my life at a teenager and on, I only drank beer and played softball with them, I was not a *wild child*
But I met the wrong person among them but for the right reason(he gave me my first born! Sonderful was the first real love of my life,NOW I have 3!)
I must also add, and this is the saddest part about it, it was Father's day weekend, and my Sonderful took his first steps! =( He was still with his Meemaw for the weekend but I was not there to see it! So we were both in there the whole weekend, Here in Ohio you can not get out on bail for domestic violence charges. That is what I had, it WAS misdeomeaner, I have to add that part in..LOL So I had to spend Friday night, sat. night and Sunday night in jail the first time ever arrested, he did too ofcourse.. It was just miserable, the worst moment ever!
So finaly Monday we got out and ofcourse played all loveydovey as usual!
I got fines and probation at video court that day, But I only had to see the PO once in the beginng and that was it is wasn't like normal probation, I also believe I got an under age drinking charge since I was a month shy of 21!
I believe that will always be on my recored and I believe the law here in Ohio is if I were to get a next DV charge it would be a felony!
I spent 7 or 8yrs in that relationship from age 15-age 22. After I met two people that changed my life(That is the next challenge)
But I have moved on and will never put myself in that situation anymore..
I feel I Have eventually have beaten him, I have my Sonderful safe and secure and my Husband to stand beside me while I am try to be strong enough against anything that ass can throw at me!
When Hubby is not there I always cave and just am to scared, he must be home if I am on the phone with him or I just freak. After all these years, STILL I can't be strong against him,but with Hubby there I am and I do, and IT FEELS GREAT!! That is why I know Hubby and I are meant to be together but we have to fight these damn hurdles that won't stop to prove that we can make it, I hope one day the hurdles will go away!!
So that is my challenge, I don't know if many of you know about that, I hope it ofcourse does not change your opinion of me unless it makes it better..LOL
Thank you for sharing my story with me! I am so glad I hve such great people to share that with!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My Biggest Challenge!
This is really a hard thing for me to do decide on because I have two VERY BIG challenges and I honestly can't choose between the two so I am posting about them both! I will post #1 now and later on I will post another they are both long and I dont want to write them both up right now..LOL
Challenge #1
This is something that I don't know if many know about me, and it is hard and embarrassing for me to talk about but That is what this is all about anyways right! And If ScrappingMom can talk about her story and share with us, then I can easily tell mine!
It was June 1997, and my WONDERFUL Sonderful was about 13 months old! And I was 20 going on 21 the following month.
His father and I had spent the evening by the fire having a few beers with my parent's who lived across the street from us, Sonderful was over at his meemaws(his fathers mom).
So eventually his father wanted to leave and I was not ready so a friend of ours and me and my sister all stayed there and hung out a bit more.. Well when I eventually got home a short while later all hell broke loose.. And ofcourse ONCE AGAIN he hit me, By that point what else was knew.. at that point in time we had been together almost 5 years by then, I went through all five years being mentally abused, then ofcourse eventually every couple weeks it would be physical. I had a good buzz on that night and he ofcourse was drunk, so he hit me, I hit him, He hit me, I threw a phone at his head, to bad I missed and hit the wall, He laughed at me, I tosses his tv on the floor..LMAO Then I left.. I walked passed his Moms about a million times(and it was a few streets away from us) but I just kept wondering back and forth in front of their house, I wanted to get my Sonderful and go back to my Moms, I knocked and knocked and knocked for atleast 2 hrs, crying buzzed and scared! He must have called and told them if I show up dont let me in. Because NO ONE ever answered!
So finally knowing that since his family had my boy I couldn't fight at that moment, I would not get him back, so I had to give in and forgive him so that he would not leave and take him!
So I went back to our apt.... I was sitting outside in the back of our apts, crying and a friend that lived upstairs heard me and called me up from the window. We sat and talked for a bit and I told her what had happened. She wanted to call the cops but I asked her not to and just wanted it to be over so I could go to sleep, I was gonna go in and just deal with what was coming and head to bed and it would be over with. And see my boy in the morning.. Well she called them after I left.. Well she didn't havea phone but she got on her cb and had a friend call them.
So when I went home, he was all nicey nicey like I knew he would be and we were starting to make up.. Well I was acting and I am sure he was too....but just so he has another day to mentally and sometimes physically abuse me he would pretend to love me so I would forgive him and just so I could never lose my boy I would act like I loved him too, and deep down I did, all abused woman do!
Welp here come the cops knocking on the door...They wanted to arrest him! Ofcourse the battered girlfriend I am ,that just *loves him so much* no matter how much he hurts me, had to open her mouth... I kept saying how I hit him to so if he was getting arrested I have to be too.. STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE BY FAR...SADDEST TOO!
The cops keep telling me to shut the hell up and go inside and I didn't and well I got arrested!
*Just so you know this is killing me to write this out but I feel good about getting it out*
Anyhoo, yep arrested, first time ever! I am not saying I was a saint teen or anything I was just smart enough NOT to get caught and really I didn't do stupid shit, I hung with hillbillys who played softball and drank beer! They rocked!! And at that time in my life at a teenager and on, I only drank beer and played softball with them, I was not a *wild child*
But I met the wrong person among them but for the right reason(he gave me my first born! Sonderful was the first real love of my life,NOW I have 3!)
I must also add, and this is the saddest part about it, it was Father's day weekend, and my Sonderful took his first steps! =( He was still with his Meemaw for the weekend but I was not there to see it! So we were both in there the whole weekend, Here in Ohio you can not get out on bail for domestic violence charges. That is what I had, it WAS misdeomeaner, I have to add that part in..LOL So I had to spend Friday night, sat. night and Sunday night in jail the first time ever arrested, he did too ofcourse.. It was just miserable, the worst moment ever!
So finaly Monday we got out and ofcourse played all loveydovey as usual!
I got fines and probation at video court that day, But I only had to see the PO once in the beginng and that was it is wasn't like normal probation, I also believe I got an under age drinking charge since I was a month shy of 21!
I believe that will always be on my recored and I believe the law here in Ohio is if I were to get a next DV charge it would be a felony!
I spent 7 or 8yrs in that relationship from age 15-age 22. After I met two people that changed my life(That is the next challenge)
But I have moved on and will never put myself in that situation anymore..
I feel I Have eventually have beaten him, I have my Sonderful safe and secure and my Husband to stand beside me while I am try to be strong enough against anything that ass can throw at me!
When Hubby is not there I always cave and just am to scared, he must be home if I am on the phone with him or I just freak. After all these years, STILL I can't be strong against him,but with Hubby there I am and I do, and IT FEELS GREAT!! That is why I know Hubby and I are meant to be together but we have to fight these damn hurdles that won't stop to prove that we can make it, I hope one day the hurdles will go away!!
So that is my challenge, I don't know if many of you know about that, I hope it ofcourse does not change your opinion of me unless it makes it better..LOL
Thank you for sharing my story with me! I am so glad I hve such great people to share that with!!
posted by ::Ali:: at
9:30 AM
3 Comments:
I do not feel any different about you Ali and am sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad you have someone now that stands by you no matter what =)
Wow! It is so hard to be in an abusive relationship, and you DID get out, so good for you! I was also abused (mentally and phsyically) when I was 16...and when I left him, it wasn't because he beat me, it was because he lied to me and stole something. LOL, whatever it takes, right?
Wow, I can't imagine ever going through such an abusive relationship. Kudos for getting you and your son out of there, and making life better for you both.
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